


hey, baby.

by lumarkle



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Bullying, High School, Hospitalization, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Memory Loss, Mentions of Cancer, Out of Character, Sickfic, not realistic, sometimes idk, well one bullying scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-14
Updated: 2019-05-14
Packaged: 2020-03-05 14:26:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18830497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumarkle/pseuds/lumarkle
Summary: Jaemin and Jeno are in love, but Jaemin, due to a brain tumour that affects his memory, can no longer even remember the name of the boy who still visits him every day and tells him stories all about the past he can't remember.





	hey, baby.

**Author's Note:**

> this is a revamp of a reader insert fic i wrote for npc xiao gui aaaages ago lol SO if it seems off at all or ooc then thats why. the story wasn't originally written for nomin but i think they fit into it prettily cozily :-)

 

 Jeno cleared his throat loudly, shuffling the short stack of pictures in his unsteady hands. He thought that hospital rooms were always too bright and smelled like hot plastic. Despite that, he sat dutifully in one for hours and hours every day, holding the same stack of pictures and telling the same stories, over and over again. He never really got tired of telling them, not even when the nurses would give him the big, sad eyes they always gave when they walked in on the same one they’d heard three times over just during that week alone.

 They’d warned him the first time he came in to tell stories that Jaemin would forget everything he was telling him; the long-term memory loss had erased the stories where they should have been in his mind already, and the short-term memory less would delete them again by the morning.

 Jeno knew Jaemin liked to hear them, though.

 “Let’s talk about the day we met,” Jeno suggested softly. “Is that okay?”

 Jaemin nodded his head, soft brown hair bouncing with the movement. He gave Jeno a timid smile that made the other boy's heart ache like something awful; a feeling he’d grown familiar with. It made a recurrence every time Jaemin blinked at him with those innocent, unfamiliar eyes. Eyes that didn’t know Jeno, didn’t love him.

 “First,” Jaemin interrupted him, laying a hand on top of his pictures. “Can… Can you tell me your name please?”

  Jeno swallowed hard, giving him an understanding smile. “Of course. I’m Jeno.”

  Jaemin nodded again, smiling slightly and sinking back into his pillows.

  “Okay,” Jeno whispered, clearing his throat again and willing his voice to be stronger. “So, it all started in gym class.”

 Jeno had been sitting on one of the benches reading a book besides an unfamiliar boy - he had an eternal doctors note for anxiety that saved him from the agony of high school gym class and so instead, he would sit with his book and play music in his headphones. Nobody ever really bothered him. That day, however, they bothered the strange boy instead.

 He had soft brown hair and a criminally pretty face that wasn’t entirely visible given his odd habit of holding the book he was reading very close to his face. Jeno didn’t know his name - but he was quick to find out when two boys approached the bench looking a little overly antagonistic.

 “Hey, Jaemin!” Someone had called, and both he and Jeno glanced up right in time to see a basketball sailing toward the bench that the two boys were sitting on. Jaemin dropped his book and caught it awkwardly, wincing from the blow of it hitting him square in the chest. The two boys laughed at the expression on his face, advancing toward him with evil, ugly grins. Jaemin threw the ball back at them half-heartedly and gave them a  _ ‘don’t test me’  _ glare that had Jeno very quickly looking back down at his book and pretending to read.

 The bigger and scarier of the two boys sneered at him and bounced the ball on the ground before throwing it back at Jaemin. This time, it hit him in the face and knocked his head hard against the concrete wall behind him with a sickening _smack_. Jeno stifled a shriek of surprise, dropping his book and ripping out his headphones. He placed a hand on Jaemin’s shoulder as he cradled his bleeding nose. “What the hell is wrong with you!” He shouted, ignoring the nervous shake in his voice.

 The boy glanced at Jeno before he looked back at Jaemin menacingly. “Who’s this, your little boyfriend? That’s cute, Jaemin.” 

 Jeno huffed angrily, looking up at Jaemin who was already looking at him while the other two boys stared at him and awaited an answer. Taking a good look at his face, Jeno swallowed hard when he realized just how attractive the boy beside him was, bleeding nose and tearing eyes and all. 

 “Yeah, he is my boyfriend,” Jeno answered without thinking. Everyone in the situation including Jeno was surprised by this response, gawking at him with wide eyes. He took a deep breath, picking up the basketball with one hand and throwing it back at them. It missed, but the intent was clear. “Now fuck off.”

 His words hung in the air for a long second where he regretted nearly every decision had had previously made to lead him to this moment. “You got a lot of nerve, you little cunt.” Sneered the friend of the scarier one, starting forward and being stopped by the other. “Whatever.” He mumbled dismissively, regarding you like you were trash. “I’m not fighting some little prick. You two losers have fun being - being losers.”

 They stalked away and Jeno breathed a heavy sigh of relief, his heart racing in your chest. Shyly, he removed his hand from Jaemin’s shoulder. He was still looking at him, except now, he was grinning from ear to ear. He removed his hand from his nose and Jeno winced at the blood smeared all over his face. “That was so cool!” Jaemin said excitedly. Jeno laughed nervously, thanking his lucky stars that Jaemin wasn’t kicking his ass for saying they were boyfriends and getting a wipe from his bag on the floor to hand to him. He wiped off his face and once he was done, gave Jeno a sweet smile that made his heart flutter in the most stupid, schoolgirl manner. “Thank you.” He finally said, his cheeks blushing bright red the way Jeno was sure he was, too.

 “That’s an interesting way to meet someone,” Jaemin said softly, smiling at his lap and fiddling with the hem of his hospital gown. Jeno chuckled, but Jaemin continued. It seemed he felt uncharacteristically talkative today. “Were you.. were you wearing a red shirt?” He asked, furrowing his brow beneath his bangs as he strained to remember. Jeno’s heart faltered and he nodded eagerly, sitting bolt upright in his chair. “Yes! I was! Oh my God, you remember?” 

 Jaemin pursed his lips. “It… I don’t know,” he admitted apologetically. Jeno relaxed immediately despite the sinking feeling in his chest, cursing himself for getting so excited. He wasn’t supposed to overwhelm him.

 Jaemin looked frustrated, so Jeno touched his hand softly, rubbing his thumb over the soft skin just above his hospital bracelet. “It’s okay, Jaemin, he promised him. “Let’s move on, okay?” 

 Jaemin nodded, looking absently up at the ceiling like he was still trying to find a memory he no longer had.

 “So, the second one..” Jeno started, smiling coyly. “You’ve heard it a few times. It always makes you shy. Are you ready?”

 He nodded his head and Jeno sat back in his chair, easily reimagining the scene as if it had happened just moments prior to the present which felt like an entirely different universe.

 Months had passed since Jeno and Jaemin had first met, and the two had become thick as thieves. Neither of them had any other friends, so they spent every moment possible together. They were strikingly similar; both loved reading, music, the same tv shows, and they’d had so many deep talks by then that they knew they had the same mind, too.

 Their favourite place to hang out was this little library Jaemin had brought Jeno to one of the first times they hung out together. It was laid out more like a bookstore, and the only people that ever went there was the mean old lady that worked behind the counter and the hipsters that came to take pictures and then leave for the coffee shop next door.

 The two boys would sit for hours on the floor between the towering messy bookshelves, sitting side by side and reading through the pages of books in sync. Together they would read all kinds of things - from a study on butterflies to children’s novels with inked pictures of dragons and knights with their princesses in puffy ballgowns.

This time, Jaemin had picked out a random book from one of the large unlabelled sections and started reading. It had turned out to be a romance novel - and so the two of them had eased up on the usual commentary and became all too aware of the distance between their shoulders and the silence of the library.

 Jeno chewed on his thumb as he read through a particularly… uncomfortable scene. The two leads had finally expressed their love for one another and they were a page and a half into a seemingly never-ending kiss scene. As they neared the end of the right page, Jeno swallowed thickly and prayed Jaemin hadn’t noticed how warm the room had gotten or how red his cheeks were becoming.

 His fingers lingered on the corner to turn the page, waiting for Jaemin to give him the go ahead.

 When it never came, Jeno asked softly. Jaemin didn’t answer, and so the other boy spared a hesitant glance at his face. The tops of his cheeks and ears were red, and it took a second for him to look away from the pages of the book he was scrutinizing as though deep in thought and meet Jeno’s eyes. Once he did look up, Jeno held his breath and realized he was unable to look away. His eyes flicked down to the other boy’s lips for a second before they returned to his brown eyes, holding him there and anchoring to the moment that was swelling and swelling as though it was about to burst. A ghost of a smile resided on Jaemin’s lips, and Jeno felt his stomach wither when one of his warm hands rose to cradle the side of his face.

 Still holding his breath, Jeno watched Jaemin’s jaw flash as he clenched his teeth. He was obviously considering what the consequences of kissing his best friend would be, and he was taking an awfully long time doing it.

 But, after what felt like centuries of waiting, Jaemin leaned in and pressed his lips against Jeno’s. They were as warm and chapped in a way that made it all the more exhilarating, just as Jeno had imagined them to be, and he allowed himself to get lost in the kiss, heavy eyes fluttering shut

 Jaemin pulled away after a long moment, letting out a soft huff of air against Jeno’s lips. The other boy shivered at the sight of his eyes so close to his own and, feeling more sure of himself than he ever had, he curled a hand around the back of Jaemin’s neck and tilted his head back, leaning forward and kissing the boy so deeply he thought they might sink straight through the earth. His head spun in circles, barely registering Jaemin pushing the book off of Jeno’s lap and pulling him closer, situating himself with one of his legs between his thighs. Jeno fisted a handful of his shirt in his hand, gasping and staring wide-eyed into the stuffy air as Jaemin pressed his back against the bookshelf.

He came closer, closer, his lips still pressed feverishly against Jeno’s own. Just as he abandoned his lips to press kisses down his jaw, he pushed him a little too hard against the shelf and several books came crashing down around the two of them.

Their hands flew to cradle their heads from the blow, hardcover books battering their shoulders and falling into their lap. Jaemin had pulled away fast enough to escape the beating Jeno was receiving, a hand pressed to his mouth to hide the smile that was already obvious from his eyes curled into half-moons.

 “Quickly, pick them up,” Jeno whispered, trying not to laugh aloud and alert the grouchy librarian to their location. The two of them gathered up the books that had fallen and put them back in their places with nervous smiles lingering on their tingling, swollen lips. When they were done, Jeno turned to say something without really even knowing where to begin. Jaemin didn’t give him the chance, kissing him firmly once again.

 They left the library that day hand in hand.

 Jeno peered at Jaemin, feeling timid. He’d told this story to him every day in more or less the same words for so long,  yet it always made his heart flutter like it’d fly away. “I think that story is my favourite,” Jaemin said quietly, his cheeks red and his eyes closed blissfully. Jeno smiled to himself, standing up from his chair and stretching out his legs.

“You say that every day,” Jeno teased him and immediately regretted it when Jaemin opened his eyes and looked at him with such anguish that Jeno felt his knees might give out from under him.

“Let’s look at the pictures now, okay?” He offered quickly, desperate to change the subject. “Move over a little bit.”

 He scooted over and Jeno sat beside him, shoulder to shoulder in a way that was painfully reminiscent of their days at the library that Jaemin could not remember. He spread the pictures out on the bed before their crossed legs, taking a moment to stare at them sadly. He’d taken pictures of every important place since Jaemin started losing his memory - the school gym, the library, their bedrooms, the diner they’d had their first real date, the park where they would sit on the swings and talk for hours, the rooftop where Jaemin had first told Jeno he loved him.

 Jeno picked them up and explained each one to Jaemin, one by one. The first time he did this, he’d gotten Jaemin to write what they were in his own handwriting because it made it easier for him to connect to the lost memories. Jaemin was always very patient with both Jeno and himself. He expressed to him several times how he knew and understood that these  _ were _ his memories,  _ his _ life, but it felt more like a dream he’d had than his own life.

 Jeno was halfway through the pictures when there was a knock on the door that’d been left just slightly ajar. Jaemin, sounding annoyed, called for the person to come in and Jeno swallowed thickly when Jaemin’s doctor entered. A kind woman that Jeno couldn’t wait to never see again. She smiled softly at the boys and nodded to Jeno in a kind of solemn greeting. Today was a big day, but, of course, Jaemin didn’t know that.

 “Jaemin,” The doctor started tentatively. “I’m here to take you to your surgery.”

 Jeno started quickly collecting the pictures on Jaemin’s bed and stacking them up, his heart pounding so hard in his chest that it was making him feel lightheaded. Jaemin looked confused as Jeno stood left his bed. “Surgery?” The doctor sighed, glancing at Jeno. Jeno nodded in understanding and moved to leave, but stopped dead in his tracks when Jaemin’s voice rang out from behind him.

 “Jeno!”

 He froze, the pictures falling from his fingers and fluttering like leaves to the floor. Jaemin had never - not even once - remembered Jeno’s name by the end of his visits. By the time you got to the second story, Jaemin couldn’t even remember the first one, let alone an introduction that’d happened long before.

 Jeno turned around, gaping at him in disbelief. The doctor had stilled, just as surprised as Jeno was allowing the moment to play out. Jaemin’s eyes were wide and glossy - he was scared. 

He said his name again, softer. Almost a whimper. The second time, he pronounced it awkwardly, as if he was trying to speak a foreign language. Jeno took hesitant steps forward to his bedside. “You said my name.” He whispered, eyes swelling with hot tears. “You said _‘Jeno’_.”

 Jaemin’s face suddenly looked frighteningly familiar - his eyes were filled for the first time in a long time with recognition, with love for the boy in front of him.

Then, before the next second could gracefully pass, Jeno watched as the look in his eyes ebbed away and then, disappeared.

Jaemin’s eyes turned back to wide-eyed confusion as he blinked at him, shaking his head to show that he didn’t understand. Jeno clenched his teeth, looking at the doctor and a nurse who had just arrived picking up his pictures from the floor. “It’s okay,” Jeno said shakily. He ran a hand over Jaemin’s soft hair and pressed a lingering kiss to his forehead. He was looking at him with doe-eyes when he pulled away, and Jeno couldn’t be bothered to try and keep it together a second longer. He wiped the tears from his face and took a deep breath, taking a step back to let the nurses wheel him out of the room. “Love you.” He called after him, voice thick with tears.

 He watched on as they took him away, pressing a hand to his mouth to stifle the sobs rising up in his chest. Another nurse entered and rubbed a comforting hand down his back, whispering soothing words to him and leading him out into the waiting room where Jaemin’s parents were kissing him goodbye. Jeno took a seat beside theirs, unable to watch as Jaemin got smaller and smaller until he eventually disappeared around the corner.

 Jaemin’s mother and Jeno joined their shaking hands, neither unable to shake the god-awful feeling that they would never see him alive again.

 With his pictures in his lap, Jeno let his head fall against the wall and closed his eyes against the bright hospital light. He recalled one more memory - one he’d never given back to Jaemin.

 Two years after he met Jaemin, Jeno sat in the waiting room of a doctors office similar to where he sat down, bouncing his leg up and down. Jaemin had been complaining of headaches and nausea for months and months on end, and he had finally agreed to see the Doctor. He was afraid to tell his parents because he knew they would worry - which seemed redundant, considering Jeno was so worried that he hadn’t eaten all day in fear he’d be sick.

 Jaemin, at last, came out of the doctor’s office with an envelope in his hands. He looked ghastly pale, and he wasn’t meeting Jeno’s eyes, whose heart clenched momentarily in his chest right before it sank to the floor. Jaemin sank into the chair beside him wordlessly. Jeno waited respectfully for a minute before he could bear the silence no longer. “Well?”

 “Um..” Jaemin said thickly, glancing down at the envelope in his hands. They were trembling slightly. “He.. referred me for a brain scan..”

 Jeno leaned back, staring at the children playing in the plastic house in the corner. He wasn’t sure what to say.

 “He said that it sounds like a brain tumour.”

 Jeno closed his eyes, the air around him turning to jelly. He didn’t want to think, see or hear anything else. Jaemin turned to look at him and, seeing his face crumble, grabbed his hand. “Jeno,” he spoke, his voice strained with effort. Jeno shook his head to clear his thoughts, reopening his eyes and taking a long, deep breath. “It’s okay,” he whispered, looking at his boyfriend. He squeezed his hand tightly, hoping he understood. “It’s okay, Jaemin. We’re gonna figure this out.”

 About two weeks later, Jeno stood on the other side of a CAT scan staring at pictures of his boyfriend’s brain on a monitor. His entire being; the thing that made Jaemin, Jaemin. That made him love his books, and his music. That made him love Jeno.

 And it was sick.

 The doctor explained things to you, but it mostly went over your head. There was an odd growth that was pressing on the part of that controlled his memories. That odd growth was getting bigger every day and, eventually, Jaemin’s memories would begin to deteriorate.

 And they did. Slowly.

 At first, it was him forgetting to call when Jeno had asked him too. Then he would forget dates of doctor’s appointments, people he’d recently met, the details of movies or shows they’d watched, books they’d read. Every day he lost a little bit more, until the day Jeno came in to see him at the hospital and he had no idea who the boy he loved was.

 He’d been diagnosed a little over a year ago. He forgot Jeno’s name four months prior to this surgery.

 The tumour on Jaemin’s brain was growing too quickly - the doctors decided the best action to take would be to try and remove it completely, but one of the risks of it was that a minor slip-up could do irreparable damage to Jaemin’s memories. If things went wrong, Jaemin wouldn’t have to be reminded of your name - he’d have to relearn his own, or worse, he would lose the ability to form new memories. However, while the surgery could make Jaemin well again and stop pinching his memories, another tricky factor was that the survival rate was less than fifty percent.

 Jeno sat in the waiting room for hours on end. There was very little conversation between him and Jaemin’s parents - it was all a little too much at the moment. What was there to talk about when Jaemin’s life was on the line?

 Almost twenty-four hours later, the doctor came out with a small smile on her face. Jeno’s breath caught in his throat, shaking Jaemin’s mom to wake her. He stood and met her halfway, Jaemin’s parents hot on his heels.

 “Good news,” the Doctor said. She was speaking to his parents; the hospital had policies on what information could be given to non-family members, but she graciously ignored Jeno’s presence. “Your son is alive. The tumour has been successfully removed.”

 They all let out a communal sigh of relief, Jeno catching himself as his knees weakened. The weight rolled off his shoulders like he’d been carrying a boulder all day.

 “However,” the doctor brought them back to reality softly. “Jaemin is in a medically induced coma for the time being. There’s no telling what state his brain will be in once he wakes up.”

 Jeno deflated. There was still a chance his boyfriend would never be the same.

 “But everything is good?” Jeno asked. “He’s okay?” 

 The doctor glanced at him and nodded, smiling warmly.

 Jeno grinned back at her. “That’s all that matters.”

 Four weeks passed from there and Jeno still came in every day to tell Jaemin stories. He looked so young while he slept; all his facial features relaxed and free of the stress he’d grown used to seeing since he’d started his battle with his tumour.

 Today, Jeno decided to tell him a new one, one he’d never told before.

 “This one was on a rooftop, overlooking the city,” Jeno said softly, his chin propped on his palm and his spare hand brushing Jaemin’s hair from his face. “You’ll like this one.”

 Jaemin’s hand was warm in his. His phone was on Jeno’s lap, the two of them sharing a headphone each. Soft music warbled over the cheap earbuds, playing in time with the sounds of the evening city far below your feet that dangled off the sides of the rooftop. The atmosphere was heavy and moist like it would rain soon. Everything was a dull shade of dark blue, which somehow made Jaemin look like he was in technicolour.

 He was uncharacteristically quiet, but it didn’t worry Jeno so much as it made him curious. Jaemin was always full of words, spilling his thoughts to his boyfriend every chance that he got.

 “Penny for your thoughts?” Jeno teased, tilting his head to see Jaemin’s face. He looked like he was deep in thought, his eyes trained on the glowing city below. He turned to look at him when he spoke, the blue sky glinting in his eyes. A small smile on his face, he squeezing Jeno’s hand reassuringly. “Nothing,” he murmured. “Just thinking.”

 Jeno pulled the headphone from his ear and twirled it around his finger absently, giving Jaemin his full attention. “Thinking about what?”

 His eyes scanned Jeno’s features - he always did that. It was unsettling how he seemed to read his mind. “About you.” He responded meekly, flashing his perfect teeth in a cheeky grin. Jeno blushed, unsure of how to answer. 

After a moment of quiet, Jaemin seemed to realize Jeno wasn’t going to say what he obviously wanted him too and he huffed in frustration, pausing the music and turning so his body was facing his. “Jeno, can I tell you something?”

 Jeno nodded, furrowing his eyebrows. He wasn’t worried before, but now he was starting to be. “You know you can tell me anything. What’s wrong?”

 He fiddled with Jeno’s fingers for a second before releasing them, scratching the back of his neck and breathing a short, nervous laugh. “I’m not - er, you know I’m not good at this stuff - not really, anyway.” He stumbled over his works, his cheeks colouring red. Jeno smiled slightly, patiently waiting. Jaemin was, actually, very good at this stuff. He had a way of making Jeno’s heart squeeze with his words that seemed to come so naturally for him

 Jaemin looked down at the city, pondering his next words. “I’ve been thinking lately and I guess I just,” he swallowed thickly, looking back up into Jeno’s eyes. “I just wanted you to know that I love you.” He confessed in a shrunken voice. 

 He looked entirely fed up with both himself and the cheesiness of the situation, but he kept going. “Yeah. I’m  _ in _ love with you. In, like, the most stupid, corny way. I think about you all the time. I actually couldn’t stop if I tried. If I’m eating lunch, I wonder if you did. If I listen to a new song, all I can think about is showing it to you. You’re everywhere and it’s not even a bad thing.” He took a deep breath, looking away with a red face. “I just...”

 Jeno’s face broke out in a grin and, careful not to send the both of them plummeting to the ocean, wrapped his arms around him tightly. Jaemin huffed a laugh, wrapping an arm around his back. “Alright, yeah, that’s pretty much how I wanted you to react.” Jeno laughed, pulling away and holding Jaemin’s face in his hands to stare directly into his eyes. His face grew serious, searching Jeno’s eyes before he beat him to it and pressed his lips against his. One of his hands knitted into Jeno’s black hair, the other on his thigh where his fingertips pressed needily into the denim.

 Jeno pulled away, breathless. “I love you, too.”

 He smiled as you told the story, settling into a comfortable silence with himself while Jaemin slept beside you. He squeezed his limp hand in his own. “Love you, Jaemin.” He said quietly. “I’ll always love you.”

 A few minutes passed in silence until Jaemin’s heart monitor suddenly picked up and startled Jeno out of his daydream. He released his hand and glanced at the monitor. The blips were growing closer together. Panicking, he hit the button on top of his bed to call for help. An alarm blared from the room and Jeno looked at Jaemin’s face to see that his eyelids were fluttering open. His breath caught in his throat, standing from his chair with a sharp screech. His eyebrows furrowed at the sound and his eyes opened slowly, brown eyes blinking in the bright hospital light.

 Jeno’s heart raced at a hundred miles an hour. He was ready to take on whatever came next. He was ready to teach Jaemin his name again, ready to reread all the books they’d ever read, tell every second of his life in detail till it felt real. No matter what, Jeno was ready. He loved him.

 Slowly, as if time had slowed to a crawl, Jaemin’s tired eyes trailed the length of the room until they landed on Jeno, eyeing him up with an expression that he couldn’t quite pinpoint.

 Whatever it takes, Jeno thought. Whatever happens next, we’re together.

 Jaemin’s lips curved into a tired, lopsided smile and voice was low and throaty with disuse when he spoke. Jeno had just barely heard him over the sound of the alarm, as well as the heart monitor and the loud nurses, rushing into the room, but he had heard him. The one thing he had never imagined him saying even in his wildest dreams.

 “Hey, baby.”

**Author's Note:**

> the illness is all fake science and im reeeally sorry for any editing mistakes bc im sure theyre in there


End file.
